So, if you're following along, a few weeks ago I was in Tucson, AZ for a conference and it was an amazing time. Here's the rest of the story...told in a kind of interesting way, with some creative freedom on details taken to keep you reading, I'll never tell what's true and what isn't.hahaha.
He woke up to a beautiful sunrise over the Catalina Mountains, back in the west, where he felt at home. Oddly enough, home was more than 1000 miles to the east, blanketed with vegetation. Something about the bare land here gave him a sense of connection to the planet, and a humble feeling that released him from the extravagance of civilized life. He found it hard to appreciate the simple things in life whilst surrounded by extravagance, but knew it was temporary, and went about the day to day schmoozing that these gatherings require.
It was the day of the exhibitors demo, people left and right trying to sell their product, little did they know, he was broke, having spent all his money on beer and cigarettes the previous night. Putting up with their jabberjawing is not without its perks however, as these people are often willing to hand out free stuff to keep you interested, or remember their company. "Hey, guys", said a man in a hat to a group of students discussing what matters to them, "We're about to tap a keg...you guys want a beer?". Everyone's eyes lit up, well, it's about 3pm, that sounds like a good time to get to business. "We're over here in the parking lot." The group herded over to the back of a pick-up truck like a pack of wolves chomping at the last piece of decaying flesh. "Cheers to you sir", he exclaimed as he raised the brew to his lips..."Man, conferences are awesome". The group continued to enjoy themselves as other flocked over. One woman, however, was not having fun, so she decided that nobody could have fun and expressed her malcontent with the situation to a man in a uniform....we'll never know the words that were said. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man approaching; white shirt, walkie talkie, whistle, nametag....etc. "He's coming over here guys. Party's over." One last swig of juice and the man questioned, "Who's truck is this?", "I don't know" he responded. "We got some reports of people drinking beer out of a pick-up truck in the parking lot, and we can't have that on our property". The uniformed man was clearly just doing his job because someone higher up had hit the buzzer that was around his neck, making him jolt into action. "Alright man, I'm not going to tell you whose truck this is, but we'll clear out of here if it's an issue. We didn't know it was against the rules." The uniformed man chuckled as he expressed his surprise, "I didn't know it was either until 2 minutes ago. I'd be out here doing the same thing if I was with you guys". He took one last chug of the cool beverage and went back to the miserable schmooze-fest. This time, a little more cocky and punchy, as he had begun to tie one on. A few more days of this conferencing passed by when he found himself upon the eve of his departure. One last night to enjoy this beautiful land and all the friends he had recently appended to his life.
"I have a couple more talks to go to, but I'm not sure if I want to go. I mean, I've been listening to these things for a week now", she said as he stopped her in the hall. "Yeah, I should probably be responsible too, but lets just go start drinking now." She smiled and followed him over to the hotel bar where they raised their glass and set out on a night that would be their last in the desert. Other quickly joined as they saw how much more enjoyment was being had on the patio rather than in a stuffy room, listening to the monotone of the speaker and the mundane slides designed to keep your attention. Before they knew it, it was midnight, "You all need to clear out of the courtyard, it's after curfew", another uniformed man said as he picked up empty glasses from the pile in the middle of the table. "You guys wanna come to the hot tub?" someone said from across the table. "That sounds like an excellent idea", he said as he lit another cigarette. After a long soak and a few more drinks, he put on his fancy shoes and made his way back to his fancy hotel room, satisfied with the evening, and his trip in general. He knew he was leaving the desert in the morning, and hung his head low. Making his way through the forbidden courtyard, he found something that made his head perk up. Two gentleman in a hot tub, being reprimanded by the uniformed man, "You guys can't be in here, the door was locked", "Yeah, I know, we had to jump the fence to get in". He meandered up to the gentleman and exclaimed in a loud and sloppy articulation, "What's up twat-waffles?", "Watch your language sir", the uniformed man responded. "Hey man", he continued in the inebriated tone, "you can't tell me what to say. I can tell you to fuck off if I want to...Matter of fact, FUCK OFF!". "Adam, I don't want to get arrested by this security guard, relax", the uniformed man was clearly not ready to deal with a herd of drunken and belligerent geophysicists. Taking what his friend had said into consideration, he grabbed his belongings and made his way back to the room, again, satisfied with what the night had brought, and content, knowing that someday he would return to the desert.
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